Getting Started

Damn, I'm tired of being fat.

So, it's been a week since I checked in with everyone. I apologize for my absentia. However, I this whole week has been a blur, literally. I'm still having issues with my eyes. As much as I love to write, I just having been able to stare at a screen. My eyes have been too sensitive, and are trying to heal. Also, I have another surgery, tomorrow. I'm hoping this will be my last. So, As I sit here writing with my left eye closed, I may have short posts, but I'll try to keep you up to date on my progress. I'm working on getting more photos, and I will post some of Cherie's recipes on here as well. She is my rock and anchor for life, and in this journey, she is no less. So, you may see some revisions to the blog page as I go, and learn the ropes of the publishing tools as well. Thanks for following along! 

Thursday, September 6, 2018

The last time I was completely on board with getting back into some semblance of healthy was back in August of 2009. That was when this foray into the great battle of the unknown was to truly begin. Add my bright idea to blog about it, and I have really stepped onto a one way street, with a bus coming! But this is all about accountability! And writing is cathartic for me. Writing about a life event, knowing others read it? Well, that bites at my ego, when I'm feeling weak! It will be enough of a swift kick in the pants to get me going again. On the other side of it, the "cathartic" part, I say what I think, pretty much. So, if you aren't accustomed to brutal honesty, and some "purple words" at times? Wrong blog to follow. Just sayin'! 

Now, regardless of the fact that I don't hear about men, or should I say, "Redneck" men, blogging about their weight loss journey, I felt like it would be a good match for moi! I grew up eating that great southern comfort food, and most unhealthy portions. I was taught to eat everything on my plate, and that isn't such good advice anymore! You see, I'm fat! I put too much on my plate! Also, I hate the physical repercussions of it! Even the little things! You know! Reaching down to put on your socks and shoes! Who would have thunk it! That shit gets hard, when you have a croaker sack full of watermelons in your lap that don't fall off, and you bend over! It may as well be an Olympic sport, because, It ain't happening! You find another way! I just shove my foot into my shoe, and keep the tied all the time!

Then we buy a new house, almost two years ago. In this house there is this beautiful LONG mirror in the bathroom with dual vanities, and LOTS of space between them! The problem? When I step out of the shower! My big white, abominable snowman, red bearded ass is RIGHT THERE looking back at me! It's like a nightly horror movie! But I understand! It's reality! Who am I kidding? I know, every night, what I NEED to do, but I can just look away from the mirror, and keep looking out the window of my fat caboose, and think I'm 205 lbs., and cute again. We peer out the window panes of our eyes, and can not see what others see! That makes my physical reality, relatively easy to ignore! Then there are those reality checks, every night in the big mirror! GASP! Then put back on the blinders, and march to the pantry for a whole bag of Candy Corn Oreo's! But like Rodney Dangerfield said, "I know I'm ugly! I stuck my head out the window, and got arrested for mooning! Yeah, I know I'm ugly. I went to a freak show, and let me in for nothin'! I was an ugly, kid too. You know? I was so ugly, my old man carried around the picture of the kid whose photo came with the wallet!" Ok, maybe not that bad, but I'd make an UGLY cross dresser! I'd make Bruce Jenner look like the "cute one", and that's pretty bad! 

And, yes, I'm a big guy at 6'3", but still! Having peaked out at 300 lbs. before, I know how it has weighed on my body and soul! I didn't get on a scale again for a long time, after I hit the 300 mark! And I can promise you! I felt nothing like I did when I finally bench pressed nearly 400 lbs. It was a polar opposite. I felt victorious then. Now, I feel defeated. So, my life, not just what I eat, HAS TO CHANGE! Because "status quo" is also going downhill at 295 lbs.! Thinking that doing nothing, or making excuses because of my medical issues is no excuse. I needed to find a way out of this conundrum. 

I have Crohn's Disease, I have Type 2 Diabetes, Gout, nerve damage from taking Remicade infusions for almost 4 years which resulted in having Peripheral Polyneuropathy as well. This was well before I was having problems with my blood sugar too. There are other things on my list of problems, but I'm tired of making them my daily concern. I'm having another eye surgery tomorrow, and hopefully the last one! I've had at least 8 within the past year on my eyes. So, you can see how things stair step up to worse, and worse! This is especially true if you have an autoimmune disease! Why? Ask anyone who has any type of autoimmune disease. It is a compounding problem. Lupus, Crohn's, Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Ulcerative Colitis, etc. will all result in secondary, and tertiary problems. We end up in a reactionary roll as survivor, and counter puncher! This is my chance to go on the offensive, for once!

You see? Some of my numbness, and nerve damage went away. Other parts will never get better. It's pretty difficult at times. It is painful, and even Lyrica (I get pissed every time I see the commercials) doesn't make it all "go away". There is no "magic bullet". And I have other issues as well, which come from having an incurable autoimmune disease. Vitamin deficiencies of Iron, B12, and D for starters. My body doesn't absorb things the same as before my most severe Crohn's flare. So, I have to take injections, and supplements in bigger doses. I don't tolerate some foods as well, like large amounts of fiber! For weight loss? That sounds like a sure lose, lose. Right? Well, Wrong! I'm confident that I can do it with this program. 

But that's all whining, and complaining. I get tired of talking about being in pain. I get tired of hearing myself become a broken record of what is broken most on me today! I do not want to be the old person whose only social activity is the weekly doctor visits until I'm dead! That shit won't cut it! I have living to do! So! In spite of the daily chronic pain, and in spite of the damage that has resulted to my body from disease, and the medications they use to treat me, I am going to lose this fucking weight! I am SICK and TIRED of being SICK and TIRED! I can not emphasize that enough! 

Hell, I know it's going to be hard! And I have waited, and looked for a means to shed pounds and get back to being the physical, rambling, photo taking, discovery freak that I love to be! I need that in my life, and I don't want being a fat ass to take it away from me. It's really that simple. I have to want it for myself, first and foremost! That is a KEY! I can't do this for my wife, first. I can't do it, simply because it has been her hope that we could both do something together to lose weight, and be healthier. I can't do it for my kids, or my grandkids, or my mother, or dad. I have to do this for ME, and want it! 

So, what did I finally see that seemed like it was worth throwing all my eggs in the basket? Well, say whatever you want about my old buddy Oprah, but she has put together a winner in Weight Watchers. Since she took over that company, or bought it, there have been some really big changes, so I'm told. Now, I am not familiar with what it was before! I don't have to unlearn the "old ways" of doing things. People who don't use a smartphone, or people who haven't made the move into the 21st century may have some difficulty getting the most out of this program! In fact, it may be damn near impossible to get what you should out of it.But if you are one of those people who walks around, walleyed, staring into a smartphone like a 10 year old kid who is staring at his first girly magazine with a flashlight under his bed sheets, then this plan is for you! This may not be for everyone, but I am now certain that it can work for me, and that is all that matters now. 

My Family (minus one, Alex) on the Oprah Winfrey Show
as guests, 2003

Oprah has made some great changes, from what I see. I love that there are over 300 zero point foods! And tracking foods is no longer the laborious chore! You can literally scan most anything in a grocery store, and the points will come up! You can choose your favorite restaurant, and find the points for almost anything on the menu! I was on another program years back that attempted this, and the data base was so thin, it became too much of a chore. So, I quit tracking, and eventually dropped out of trying. Weight Watchers is different! It's easy! It's thorough, and I still have a great deal to learn about the tools they provide.

So, here I am, talking about losing weight, and after the first week? I didn't get hungry. Honest. I don't eat a lot of salad either. I'm not a salad eater. I ate healthy, and I ate what I wanted to eat. We did cook more at home, (and that is a good thing), but we still ate out at some of our favorite places too. We just ate different foods there in most cases. Yet, it was still filling, satisfying, and good. I was surprised! Honestly surprised!

How did I do in my first week? Well, my first weigh-in was on 08/28/2018, and I weighed in at 294.8 lbs.

Yesterday, on 09/05/2018, I weighed 287.0. So, I lost 7.8 lbs in one week! Not bad, huh!

Next time, I want to tell you about how it feels to detox off of sugar, because I am a sugar addict! And I do mean ADDICT! Sugar is my crack! It is also, now, my Kryptonite! So, it is a battle that I need to win! That will be next on the blog. I talk about how Weight Watcher's is helping me to win that battle.

So, hang in there! You want a little motivation for the day? Watch this little package...

#Oprah #WeightWatchers #WeightLoss